0:00:00 English 1:02:40 Deutsch 1:19:40 English

Hey everyone, it’s me and I’m back on track with my English talk. So first of all, I did many private recordings in the last months which are too valuable to hand them out to you, dear plebs. Because I see myself as an aristocrat of mind who won’t share all of his thoughts with the lower stratums of society, the stinking, uneducated, nuisant classes. I keep this wealth I created for myself. However, there was one of these private episodes which I found too good to keep it for myself. Therefore I give you the transcript of it here. Not the actual audio file, just a text of what I spoke. This wasn’t planned and it doesn’t have to do so much with the podcast that I’m sending out here with this episode. I talk in English in it, because I was falling in love with Lana del Rey. I got into the idea that somehow I would be able to seduce her and make her fall for me. I’m still not sure whether I will give it a shot, but at least I have some beautiful recordings about her. This is the reason why also in this recording transcript Lana is mentioned briefly. However, as of now, the larger question arises between the two variables X1 and X2. X1 being jealous because of my poems for X2, so I felt, let me simply go on loving X2 poetically because somehow this is what X1 expects from me in some crude way. I don’t know if I can explain myself, nor does it matter at this point.

I won’t reveal any real names, these all are interchangeable variables as we all are as human beings, far from being as singular and self-determined as liberalism, today’s ruling ideology, tries to make us think.
However, this is a really hard question for me, what to do with the real names I put into some other narrative works of mine, not »Imperialism«, the one where I talk about x1 and x2 and always used alias names for them from the beginning. But there are texts about my time in Argentina in school and other texts I wrote more recently which all contain real names from persons in my social surroundings. Once I draw closer to thinking of completing and publishing these works, I ask myself whether it is reasonable to change these names into something fake, an alias or invented name.

But in the end, every name is invented, just that we tend to think when our parents make this decesion about their child’s name, it is somehow their right because they posess the right of ownership since the child was created using their genetic material, their licensed property and therefore their choice of a name is legitimate. But I don’t want to be the slave of my parents forever, so maybe it would be right to invent new names for oneself. Until now I’m sticking to the traditional family-given names in many of my writings, also for the main protagonist which often wears my personal first name. But as for the other characters, I carefully chose alias names both in »Imperialism« and in »Liberalism«, a rather leaned-back work I wrote in the winter time. I read some of it today in German. It feels good to publish because I want to let you take part in some of my creations and literary adventures. However, I don’t want to publish in a »serious« way right away today with the current political situaiton being too shaky and repressive here in Germany. As a communist, I must keep a low profile. The reason for this is that I like to talk frankly but once you talk frankly and say openly that you want to change something about the societal order, then all the repressive organs of the state will target you and make you shut up one way or the other. One of those possibilities would even be literary fame and being glorified by the media to the point where your head is spinning and you might think that you actually are this free liberal superstar who deserved and created it all by himself. This trap I want to avoid.
So I say this to Fiona and to anyone listening: if you have a problem with what I say then please just let me know and after a consideration I would be happy to delete or take offline whatever was bothering you. But please don’t turn me in to the police and to the state’s repressive organs.

Here is the transcript that was mentioned above:

 Now I just played some chess with my grandpa and we decided let's go out there, yeah, to the pizzeria, the pizza restaurant, where we drove by this afternoon but we didn't have the guts, the bravery, and, well, the manliness, I might say, to step outside and to enter and ask for a table. And I want to be that guy who's that shy, who always wants to keep inside what's inside of us.

All right? The sexual pleasure, this measurement of human desire and development is, it's my scale. How I bring to bail all that's in the way, and let's sail around the globe. Let's stay at the ice top of Mount Everest where the snow, and let's simply go wherever you like. Dear girl, dear Lana, or whoever decides, she wants to…
tackle me and take me down, you know? Lana, she writes about so many men as if she has devoured them all. She took them down and she — I mean, in her poetry, it's like constant talk about, about the man she loved, and my God, I think what would…

I mean, what my ex girlfriend, X1, always said about my poems for X2, that it's absurd to write for you, X2. X2. X3. X4. If you didn't even notice me or kept ignoring me or simply I was invisible to you and never really considered taking me into your life and your arms, but okay. Makes me quiver, I wanna be that way to say I'm afraid of sex and even of a hug and therefore I stay, like, perplexed.

Just talk to my grandpa. That's right, I'm afraid and …

Because us men, we aren't that manly anymore, as those in the last century, like my grandpa. He's almost a hundred years old. I guess those were the times, right? When Hitler ruled, he was born, or just one year before that. And this was the time when a man could be a man, and could use all the firepower like Hitler commanded his troops.

Yes. Army with all the tanks towards the east and I guess, yeah, this is what you girls like, uh, firepower and us men being brazen and aggressive. Mmm, I'm smelling a rose. But today, I want to feel oppressed and be like a total mess and a failure and therefore say, Oh girls, please, you can't touch me. This is not, totally not, so easy.

I am not at ease. In my mind there is no peace. Um, I'm anxious. totally unbalanced and squeezing out here some words rambling nonsense and enhancing trying to get a glance at you you feminine flower and all of your powers and abilities to seduce and to produce beautiful things pieces of art like, like all that is flowering and blossoming and spring and coming up from the earth, from the ground, in the soil where there's the seminal, uh, grain.

But, you know, you're not getting my semen, sis, sis, sis. No, that's not, totally not flowing out because I'm so Bigot, or how do you call those people? Like religious people. Moralistic. And I want to be that way, just that I'm not realistic. Religious, I'm realistic, right? I'm stalinistic. Communistic and artistic and this is my power and my super duper hour.

Yeah, it's about time, it's the hour where we shine as the artists. It's in the evening where I get creative, where I get my creative tanks rolling and strolling and, um, attacking, simply going forward, forthright and forthcoming, up and about to land there, to arrive at the front and to achieve, to put the enemy's mind, not at ease, but make him, uh.

Quiver and make him shake and To the bitter end Until there's death and blood all over the place Like, yeah people, this is hell, this is the world we live in So many wars And I wanna tell you Talk about all that shit Because It's yours. It's all of ours. It's our fault. It's our destiny. And even if we might be here in safety, we are not apart from them, from those people like.

Drug addicts dying there from an overdose, or soldiers being killed, uh, by, or overrolled by a tank and by, by a dose of, um, high calibers and getting filled up with, uh, all those, uh, yeah, ammunition. Bullets getting their skull parted into two or into thousands of particles by a grenade. Yeah, people, this is all on us to blame, that we let this happen, that we're all part of this world.

Keep nodding our head and Applauding to those commanding these wars and saying, I mean, yeah, yeah, like two weeks ago we had this election here in Europe and the, the forces that are pro war, they won by a huge landslide and this was, yeah, great applause from the people to their rulers and, Commanders. Wow.

Great stuff, people. You keep killing them, people, and we keep voting for you. So hopefully you won't kill us, right? Kill them Ukrainians there, yeah? They are delivering weapons to them. So they kill Russians, and Russians, they fight back killing Ukrainians and it's a mess, it's a bloodbath. But that's what we like.

Yes! That's what we like here in Europe. Keep fucking them! I mean let's fuck them over uh, each other, Ukrainians and Russians they're only, well, undermen as Hitler used to say they're not real Europeans therefore we don't care, we can go on here electing our politicians, but we don't care I mean, they're in the east, there might be war for 10 years or 20 years, doesn't matter, they can go on, they are not real humans, they can drain all their blood out of their bodies.

I don't even believe this is real blood, like mine, like my German, aryan blood. This is totally white and, you know, white, there's white and red cells in the blood. Oof, this is really gross what I'm talking here, people, but gotta keep on, gotta move on and say it all, yeah. You know, the Russians, they are white.

They look like us and therefore I think there's a certain, uh, aggression. From Europe, from the European bourgeoisie, the ruling class, because they're accustomed, they're used to colonizing all the world, but the oppressed and enslaved people they found there all over the world in Africa and Asia, they were all different looking, like brown or black with their skin being really visibly distinct from the European looks.

But then they see those Russians and they look about the same and therefore they get aggressive, the Europeans, because they say they can't be the same, really, no, we have to prove to them that they don't. And that's why Hitler attacked, because he wanted a big colonial Reich, uh, an empire, like the Brits, uh, the Britains had their empire, but Hitler wanted to do this in the East.

And, well, he was a beast, but so was Churchill and all of this, these fucking imperialists who grounded the British Empire. And founded the imperial British reign or the imperialist U. S. American reign of today. And what I want to say is there's a special case with Russia because those people, they look somehow the same. They are white and therefore they have to bleed. Therefore we want to kill them and therefore Hitler attacked, but also, Scholz is attacking and fighting back now. Scholz, yes, he's our Führer, and he's sending the troops and the weapons there.

Well, the troops not yet, but who cares? It's the Ukrainian troops. They can fight, they can get killed, and get their skulls, like exploded or just yes, this is happening on a daily basis and it makes me — well actually nauseating. But here I'm just getting jacked up saying yeah: This is great amazing stuff happening because after all people isn't this your opinion if you keep voting for this regime here for Scholz or these other possible chancellors like Alice Weidel or Friedrich Merz, uh, here in Germany, or Annalena Baerbock.

They all are part of the same, same class, the political ruling class, which are the servants of the actual rulers, the bourgeoisie. But the state machinery is somewhat independently organized, so it works a lot smoother. But they're different fractions, all I'm saying. AfD, the right wingers, then the left wingers, the Linke, but they're all the same, essentially.

They're pro war, pro killing, and pro blood, and this is great. Their blood is ripe to flow. All the human bodies must now be slaughtered and slayed and be brought down, fall down like ripe apples. Yes, this is what I want to see, not only in autumn, right now in summer. We want it. Yeah, let's drain all those beautiful Ukrainian fields with blood and yes, shall be no, no more green, no more yellow or brown from the wheat or violet from the flowers I can see here, no, all has to be red because of the blood. Well, if it is, if it is even red, I don't believe they're full of humans, those Ukrainians and Russians right there. They're aliens, but we'll see what will come out of them once we get them all sloshed and lined up in a line and … that's uh…

Well people maybe I shouldn't go on. Uh, I was getting excited but yeah, death and aggressiveness is something excited and I just want to get it out because all of you I mean you fucking assholes. I sit there with my communists two days ago I sat there in a communist meeting, a conference, we analyzed the, well, the come out, the results of the election, EU election here, and yeah, so fuck you all, we are so low on ballot, only got about a thousand votes in all of Germany, so that's nothing.

Pretty much every other party got more, even the small ones, even the newly founded ones. And our party has a lot of tradition, like over 50 years. But still, we're not visible. People don't think of voting for us. Because communists are bad, of course. Yeah, they're killers. It's bloody. Right? It's all soaked in blood, what Stalin did a hundred years ago.

Oh yeah, let's talk about that, because that way you can forget easily about what's occurring today, right? Today, every day, right? What, what kind of killing fields and slaughterhouses are going on there? Are they getting produced and, um, and, uh, yeah. Constructed each day, but no, no, let's keep talking about, well, the past history and how bad this was.

Oh yeah, this is, this is what we like here in Germany, talking about, yeah, the Nazis and so bad, right? You can't even imagine those people, they actually killed someone and, oh no. So the purpose that this is serving is that we forget that the regime today is also killing lots of people and that this is part of a vile structure of the imperialist exploitation and simply rummaging over all of the continents and getting out all of the blood, sucking out the resources and leaving the people drained there without any possibility to gain again.

I mean, this is happening in Africa. I mean, we have had colonization in the past centuries. Now there's this new era of decolonization, but of course, through the imperialist power, power of capital and of money, these nations in Africa and all over the place, they keep being enslaved. And this is so brutal.

I mean, people are dying simply because of lack of economic resources, of medicine and so on. And we here just keep smiling and keep saying it's their own fault. So, oh yeah, sorry, so my grandpa is ready now. I have to stop here. I'd like to go on, but what was I talking? Oh yeah, Africa and so on. Yeah, ah, my grandpa, of course, yeah, I mean, he's over 90 and he's talking like this.

But. No, people, it's just that he's honest about what the German public at large, the majority of the population is thinking, just that people socialized like today, like people the same age as me, they can't express this feeling of superiority, but it is as true as it is for my grandpa. He's a lot more honest, he simply says we are superior as whites or I don't know that we left there all the streets and trains in Africa when we colonized it and that they should be thankful and I mean okay people — this is just honestly expressing what the German government, the German ruling class is making all of us Germans think: we are the rulers of the world and the other people they just — well, they're not thankful enough for all that we gave them, right?

Look at that. Look at all we gave to you in the past century and my god, they keep being resentful towards us Germans. Why is it? But um, I guess I have to stop here. I just want to say dear people of the world, dear peoples, so all the oppressed nations, not the imperialist ones like France or Germany or Britain. No, the other ones, the big majority of, I invite you to organize and just fight this imperialist oppression and gather an army to defend yourselves from the imperialist backlash against any serious revolution.

I'm talking about creating a revolution and saying fuck you to those imperialist states.

A revolution in some state of Africa or some smaller state of Asia. And then say, yeah, we will, well, we'll have to defend ourselves, because, Germany and all those imperialist states, they want to keep attacking and destabilizing us like they did in the last centuries, like in Vietnam and so many places.

Killing people, coming up with evil ploys and plans and murderous, uh, yeah, plots to get rid of statesmen that they feel are targeting, are endangering their interests, which means their capital, their control of the resources and of human labor and the lives of those people. So the, yeah, essentially it's this, they want, the imperialist ruling class wants to keep those oppressed nations and people in eternal misery and just make them bleed and be miserable, starving and dying and be desperate and yeah unhappy forever. Yeah, he come. So let's stop on that accord. This is all I got to say. Bye bye.

——

As a last giveaway, here is a poem I found in my poetic diary from some weeks ago:

I still love you
There’s nothing above you
Wanted to kiss your lips and cloves, too
Wanted to tell you
Everything is well, ya
When I see or hear you
Am intrigued by your smile
Wish you’d stay for a while
Here by my side
Oh X2
I’m done with playing, nana
We’re two childs, so immature
It’s in our nature
But this enticement, it allures
So sorry for having to say or mumble
That I want to pull you close and stumble
Or fall into your arms
X2, I’m useless without your palms
Laying themselves on me and my cheeks
Anything was looking bleak
In the past, when I resented
And felt betrayed or prevented
From actually becoming who I could be
I knew, this person working guilelessly wasn’t me
But then you came to save me
Because you looked at me
And pulled out everything that had clogged
My inner tubes, the channels unblocked
So I could speak, could raise my voice
It’s you who made me realize
I’m real, am someone who is seen
By a girl like you
This was frightening, true