Love Letter

The eminem song I mentioned:

Till I Collapse https: //youtu.be/Pi3_Zs-oRUo "My thoughts are sporadic, I act like I'm an addict
I rap like I'm addicted to smack like I'm Kim Mathers"

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Todays Episode is overly romantic. Although I feel a drive towards romanticism and the need for a deep, lasting and transforming love experience, since reading the essay »On Romanticism« by communist writer Peter Hacks (in #100 of my German podcast), I think a little differently about it. Romanticism is a drive to a dark, obscure place, the will to sink into the darkness where you can make no distinctions and not discern anything. However pleasureful it might be to follow romantic role models and invent a »crazy« way of loving for yourself, at some point there comes the difficult moment where you have to confront yourself with the idea of realization of the desired good, the love experience with that imagined person you feel driven towards and want to clung to their lips either to listen or to kiss and so on… Because if not, if you prefer to keep in the imaginary bubble and solely enjoy admiring and yearning for the other person while being inhibited in direct interactions because of fear to what it could lead and if this real thing would be up to your expectations and dreams, then this is clearly cowardice, self-deception and unproductive.

Life isn’t uniquely about love, there are several fields where you can develop your character, enjoy habits like sports, creating or consuming art, your hobbies, friends, and most importantly, your daily work. But love certainly is placed in a very high spot by the societal context. And of course it also is a very disturbing subject of my life, my past and future and seems to be the answer to everything. The rush for finding my own definitions on love matters maybe serves to put it into a lower spot, so I can reach it, because if it is so high and brillinat, I don’t even dare to imagina it could be grasped, could be worth a try. Therefore I say: love and friendship are equal, or at least they are not nearly as different as assumed in today’s reality forming discourse. This discourse puts all those romantic ingredients into my podcasts, thoughts and writings; I need to fight and overcome this romantic drive a little bit in order to be able to grasp real love, that is, material love where you can see, smell or touch your partner and there is a direct presence, not the hypothetical situation of yearning and craving for the loved person. The material basis of life, the production of goods and services determines everything else, says Karl Marx, as religion, believes, convictions, narratives, art etc., every part of a society relies on the steady production of what is needed to survive and reproduce our biological organisms on a daily basis. Therefore it is logical to be a materialist, affirming what is going to be part of our world anyway, producing our very reality. Materialism has nothing to do with what today in the vulgar discourse of the plebs is understood as such: consumerism, shallowness, a narrow focus on shiny new stuff. No, it is in its core the affirmation of love, of the need for your missing half that is going to fulfill and complete you. Because as humans this behavior or feeling is deeply programmed into our genes, the species couldn’t have survived without it; therefore we ought to be thankful and enjoy this present our forefathers inherited to us, life in all its aspects and also in its maybe greatest aspect, this sexual desire, love or however one might call the unspeakable.

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The speaker and author thinks now that this episode is not even as good as the last one; my philosophical speculations about the mountain ridge or crest were highly valueble I noticed when publishing it, the whole subject of the being at a fork in the road is a vast, immense one, difficult to oversea or even express what we are talking about here.

But the next one is going to be one of a kind, at least that’s my expectation because last week was very stressful at work and stress always gives me the pressure I need to create my most precious podcasts. Therefore socialism is needed so desperately, we need to give every human being this opportunity to have a fixed working schedule each day so that they can build a fulfilled life around that. Not everyone maybe has such a special talent as me with podcasting, yet already in work we can use our gifts and find the power in life to maybe also seek love. If only we would overcome capitalism and many more people could enjoy such priviliges in their youth, it is pretty obvious that more and more podcast talents would pop up or talents on other important fields as art, science, politics… So I feel my work is nothing special, it is the fruit of my early formation in my youth by the burning sun of Brazil and Argentina. Those countries, or to be precise, the experience of the delta between them and my home land Germany, created my personality with all its flaws and treasures. Clearly, if more people world wide would have access to even the most basic civilised needs such as school, housing, apprenticeship, then more and more talented poeple could be formed, of course capitalism also tries to inhibit this because it is not in its interest to have smart people who can come up with a plan for revolution. Furthermore, the ruling mindset of liberalism drives people apart and makes us compare, be envious and paranoic, we might lose out in the eternal compition against our neighbors, friends and co-workers.

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READING

After a certain time I felt like I was enchanted by you, slowly falling in love a bit. Or maybe this enchantment took place already in our first conversations in September, who knows, love and desire is such a complicated topic that I also try to explore philosophically in my podcast, but never quite get to define it.
Because of this feeling every time it felt harder to talk to you but still I felt like I needed to do it at any cost and I waited for a sign from you that you also valued this beginning friendship. Of course the fact that we were both in a relationship made this even more confusing. However, as a communist, I think also love, romantic feelings, gestures and sex should be shared among individuals and not be locked in to a fixed relation.
That was also the problematic topic with my ex girlfriend, we're officially separated since a few weeks. She couldn't accept my views and that's ok, still I hope we can find together again but thats not sure.
Anyway I would like to have a friendship with you although it's complicated because of this feeling. But I don't think this can be the solution to block off any friendship possibility only because there are more complicated feelings. What kind of concept of love is this, when you need to suppress and end relations to other persons in order to safeguard the holy monogamous bond between the two exclusive lovers? This idea of only being able to love one person at a time is also deeply reactionary and as this Austrian philosopher I mentioned, Robert Pfaller, pointed out, these kinds of manners become more common nowadays. He explains this with the brutality of capitalism, even here in the rich part of Europa young people are so desperate and frightened of the future, this world seems so insecure and vast that if only they can fit into the capitalist labour market and find a job, they see this as enough competition and fighting for a life time and want to return to traditional values in the private sphere.
In my view, we should move forward to polygamy and polyamouros relationships in the private field, but stick to the traditional values and theories layed out by Marx and practiced by the pioneering bolsheviks, the engineers of society. We have to reject the free markets of consumer goods production and reach socialism, the only alternative would be the end of humanity as it seems pretty near today, or the return of fascism.

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2. You know, I thought, maybe you felt this too, I don't say that it’s love, it’s a preliminary step of falling in love. And I like it so much, although it brings me into lots of trouble with my girlfriend.

Last year, when I really got into podcasting, the topic of love was the one I wanted to explore in depths by reading from philosophical books, establishing my own thoughts and so on. I discovered this gift of being able to talk that much and was surprised by myself. So I felt like keeping the podcast to myself, not making a lot of publicity, only to some other podcasters I admire I reached out. But the topics and thoughts I explored were to »hot« I felt for being exposed so early to a large public. I wanted to let grow my own thoughts on it and then see what happened. Until today I’m in this situation of not really having lots of listeners and interactions with comments of listeners. This year I shifted from love to politics.
Last year in September I met my girlfriend and I got the impression it was better to live love practically and stop talking about it. This decision might have been a mistake, because now every now and then the topic flings into my discourse and comes to the surface although I wanted to talk strictly about politics. But love and politics is also interlaced; my thoughts are sporadic and wild but one major theory I am working on is that of love communism. Whatever the case, with my girlfriend it was a harmonic relationship also because we coincide on many political views, because she comes from a revolutionary family in Peru and was always out there protesting in the streets.
However harmonic it was, after reading Robert Pfaller and his thoughts on love and monogamy, I felt sharply the perfect love relationship had to be open to other experiences in my view. Because whatever that experience is, you never know up front, it could be love, a friendship or an affair, a romantic passion restricted to some time period. This point of Pfaller also deeply impressed me, that as he puts it, we should not think so little of an affair, as if it was something unmoral, but it is also an art and could be just as deep love as the love experienced in a fixed relationship. Who is to say which of them is real love, why not both?
That was also the claim of Daisy, a fictional character in the novel »The Great Gatsby« by the American writer Fitzgerald. When confronted with an aggressive situation, with both her husband and her lover demanding a definite decision from her, she said firmly that she loved them both. And this honesty in this field of complicated emotional entanglements is so magnificent.